Braddy’s Rules for Dating – Tinder Edition

A friend of mine prevailed upon me to try Tinder again. Tinder is a dating app that basically allows single people to rate potential prospects strictly by how attractive they find their Instagram account to be. People whose Instagram accounts are mutually pleasing are then given the opportunity to date, if they so choose. I’ve tried Tinder before with mixed results (due in no small part to my own dating hang-ups), but I decided to give the matchmaking app another go.  

I’ve found (to the great surprise of no one in particular) that I’ve developed a set of rules for which people it is appropriate to “swipe right” on.

  • Rule the First: Any potential right-swipees must share at least one Facebook friend with me. So that I know they aren’t a bot, of course.
  • Rule the Second: I can’t swipe right on any profile with pictures of an activity I could not replicate comfortably.

-Going hiking? Not my jam, but I could do it pretty easily.
-Petting a tiger? Sure, why not?
-Wearing a swimsuit? With my ridiculous body issues, I have not been seen in public with a swimsuit on in over fifteen years. Not even a one-piece. 

 

  • Rule the Third (also known as The Annihilator): Since I’m a bit of a homebody, I can’t swipe right on the profile of any woman who likes “country dancing, travel, and adventures.”

Again, that third rule is a doozy. I live in the great state of Utah, where 95% of all inhabitants live for nothing but country dancing, travel, and adventures. During my last foray into the world of Tinder – which lasted for two months – I swiped right twice, on the profiles of the only two women in the area bold enough to post a picture of their My Little Pony fandom on a dating profile. They did not, apparently, swipe right on my profile during that time. I had zero matches.

To make this current Tinder experiment more eventful, I’ve forced myself to ignore Rule the Third. I finally got a match with a girl… one who likes country dancing, travel, and adventures.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Braddy’s Rules for Dating – Tinder Edition

  1. A) Oooooh my word. That illustration is SEARING MY EYEBALLS! I CANNOT LOOK AWAY! IT IS PERFECTION IN BLACK AND WHITE!!!

    B) I hope you go on a date with Ms. Adventure and Travel. And, for the record, I married someone who LOVES country dancing (and dancing in public overall) and in 4 years of our togetherness we have yet to do either of those things. Because he loves me and doesn’t want me to bolt. 🙂

    xox

    Like

  2. My main rule for Tinder: I won’t swipe right on anyone who’s pictures are all selfies. You seriously can’t find ANYONE to take a picture of you? I don’t think this is going to work.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s